Song of the day: “Forget Her” by Jeff Buckley

AWOL does not necessarily mean dead and such is the case here. I know the movie reviews have not been dished out as promptly as they should and I take the blame for that, but this month has been kicking my arse thoroughly. Looking at the list of movies I’ve yet to review makes me shiver, but it will get done, as soon as I get my life a bit more settled, and that is a promise with a focoproject quality seal! In any case, just to get us started, I will post my review for a recent movie, while it is still relevant. The rest will come as life allows. Thank you for your patience, you will be rewarded in the afterlife

-Fco.

Terminator Salvation

Lets go back to High School for a moment — I know this might be a painful experience for some of you, but bear with me, there is a point to this — and remember the chick that you liked, because at some particular point, when the stars aligned and the planets were just so and the lighting fell in that special way…she gave you a kiss. And then a big black veil seemed to fall over the rest of your judgment and even though all your friends were telling you that she was not worth it, or bad for you, or whatever, you blindly stumbled after her, because you were caught up in a singular moment of hope. Part of you, wanted to believe, against all odds, that there was something meaningful there and it took a while for you to open your eyes and realized she had screwed you royally and played you like a puppet.

Terminator Salvation is that chick!

Even coming out of the screen, after seeing the mess that was served to me on a pretty plate, I really wanted to like it. Everybody was already talking about their criticisms and I was sitting there saying: “No, but it was not all bad.” I should have known the black veil had fallen over me when everybody else stopped talking and looked at me like I had just emerged from another dimension.

“What was good?” They posed.

“Um…..” The fact that I could not come up with something immediately should have been my first clue. It took reaching into the nether and wildly flaying my hands to grasp at something that I finally came up with an answer. “The design? Visually?”

How sad is it when a franchise like this only has that going for it?

Here is the skinny. This movie sucks and the more time I have had to digest it, the less and less I like it. Indiana Jones part 4 has a new best friend. Starting with the script, which did exactly what I was hoping they would not, spattered with throwaway lines trying to tie it to its predecessors and ending with CGI Arnold making a cameo. Christian Bale’s awesomeness could not save this and to think he nearly busted a vein throwing a fit on set over it!!!

Perhaps what is more disturbing is the tremendous amount of potential this movie held. One look at the trailers released sent shivers up and down my spine. It seemed that they had finally pinned it down and given us an idea that transcended the mainstream and gave us something meaty to chew on. The concept that artificial intelligence could have evolved so much to the point that it believed itself human is fantastic. How do you screw that up? I am not sure, but McG managed. In fact, they seemed to undo some of the things they had established in earlier films, it was clear that they went for big and flashy with complete disregard for stability. Instead of a thought provoking film we are giving sparkly images that blind for a moment, and hope against all hope that one fails to see the lack of structure behind it.

I really, truly, wanted to like this, I clung tooth and nail to the fact that there was something salvageable here, but looking back, well over a week after seeing it, I still can not think of anything other than the designs and a few fun action sequences to save it. The editing, was sloppy, the directing was abysmal, the acting fell on its face (Bale and Yelchin, for the most part, excluded) and the CG was not up to par. Taking everything into account, this is really just a big cheeseball being force fed to you. Save your money, go watch Star Trek instead if you haven’t.

Rating:
Notes: Some intense actions scenes and violence.
Quote: Marcus Wright: So that’s what death tastes like.