Song of the day: The Late Great Libido by Menomena

The Machine Girl

Director: Noboru Iguchi
Genre: Action/Comedy/Thriller/Horror
Year: 2008

Somebody has been putting their dirty little fingers inside my Netflix queue and they are having a blast showing me the weirdest movies. How I ended up with this film in my list – and not only that but at the TOP of my list? I have absolutely no idea, but it is the sort of film I never really go out of my way to see. The title alone says it all and believe me, as cheesy as the title sounds, it is only partially descriptive of the movies true cheese quality.

This is the stereotypical Japanese action film with senseless violence, gallons of blood, ridiculous plots, overly dramatic dialogue, overthetop effects, gadget induced, anime inspired stuff that seems to saturate the lower budget film racks. This film is bad. But it had me rolling with laughter at times and something needs to be said for a bad film that manages to entertain this much.

Let’s start with the plot, which regards Ami, a young high school girl (properly fitted with her mandatory school girl outfit) who is bent on seeking revenge for the death of her brother Yu, killed at the hands of…a Yakuza’s Lord, who is a real turd of the first degree. Already we are suspending disbelief, because this feast of violence is due to the fact that some kid was being a bully and ended up killing two other kids. Somehow honor and ancestors and pride get involved and everybody wants to avenge everybody else and things turn real violent, real quick. And I am talking, chop off the hand and squirt five gallons of blood all over your face — showerhead style — type violence. It also happens that through the course of the film, Ami loses her arm, which is conveniently — if not realistically — fitted with a machine gun, later to be traded by other gadgets.

When Ami discovers that her little brother Yu was murdered, having already lost her parents to allegations of murder and the consequent suicide (also to save their honor), she realizes she has nothing left to do and decides to turn into death’s own right hand and deliver lots of pain to everybody that ever bullied her brother. Heads are chopped, bodies chain-sawed in half, faces are hammered and nailed…they even find a way to introduce a steel bra with rotating blades. Seriously. There is also the involvement of a ninja trio that calls itself the Junior High Shuriken Gang who are then proceeded by their parents, bent on avenging THEIR death and who call themselves the Super Mourner Group. I would say you can not make stuff like this up but…clearly somebody did. Top that off with the fact that both heroines of the movie are pretty damn smoking, for good measure.

The plot is predictable, the twists are melodramatic, the story is forced, the acting is horrendous, but let’s be honest, nobody is going to rent this film expecting an achievement award. That being said, technically, some of the shots were actually pretty damn good. But the effects, some of the sequences, the editing, all of it drips with anime-ness and it is just a flippin’ riot. This is the sort of bad film you rent with a bunch of guys and laugh at (and I do mean guys, girls in general will probably not appreciate the gratuitous up-skirt or cleavage shots).

It is a bad movie, no way around this, but it does manage to entertain, so when you see my rating, add another star or half a star for entertainment value. If this is your sort of movie…you gon’ dig this!

Rating:
Comments: Violence by the gallon. No nudity, but they do flash a bit of TNA, cleavage shots and pantie shots. Japanese language with English subtitles or optional English dubbing.