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• Director: Jonathan Dayton & Valerie Faris
• Genre: Drama/Comedy
• Year: 2006

If I were to say that I had not laughed like this since I saw ‘Meet the Parents’ and ‘There is Something About Mary” I would be doing this movie a disservice, even if the statement is true. There is no doubt that this movie had me laughing histarically throughout various parts of it, the kind of uncontained laughter that seems to take over the entire theatre. But the thing is, this movie is well above and beyond what either of those two comedies were. Where ‘Mary’ and ‘Parents’ were comedy for the sake of comedy, this independent film has a much more dramatic undertone to it and a lot more serious social commentary.

The story revolves around a very avarage family…so average in fact that it is almost sad, considering the level of disfunctionality in just about every member. And yet, through the course of this film as the youngest member of the family is invited to participate in the Little Miss Sunshine competition, one is given the opportunity to see the beauty in each character. Through this film, we are treated to non-original material that is somehow transforemed into something new, fresh and incredibly entertaining while at the same time granting some very human, touching moments.

Superbly directed and acted, though this movie is clearly not a big budget film, it certainly achieves more than most movies coming out of large studios in recent months. So yes, without giving too much away, go see this movie, it will definitely be worth the time and money!

And sorry if it took me so long to review this, I actually saw this a while back and completely spaced out on reviewing it.

Rating: 5 ouy of 5
Notes: Adult content and some language
Quote: Olive: Grandpa, am I pretty?
Grandpa: You are the most beautiful girl in the world.
Olive: You’re just saying that.
Grandpa: No! I’m madly in love with you and it’s not because of your brains or your personality.

• Director: Paul Greengrass
• Genre: Drama/History
• Year: 2006

Given the nature of the subject, writer and director Paul Greengrass made the bold call that Oliver Stone was unable to do with World Trade Center. Actually, having only seen the previews (and really with no desire beyond that to see the movie) I can tell two calls that Greengrass that Oliver Stone did not.

The first significant move is that United 93 touts absolutely no movie stars. The entire cast is composed of virtually nobodies, which in reality brings a fresh breath to a film that needs absolutely no distractions. To have seen Tom Cruise’s face or any other movie star in this movie would have only gotten in the way. No, there are no egos fighting for screen time here, just a collection of unknown actors trying to get their role accomplished, with touching effects. The other impressive call was to not bother with backstory for the characters. There is no cheesy, this is who they were flashbacks, there is nothing to detach the audience from the moment here and now, which is a sobering picture of the last flight of United 93, the plane that went down on 911 in the countryside.

This is one of those movies where you know exactly what is going to happen and still can not bring yourself to accept it. Thatis how I felt with “The Passion of the Christ” and not to say the two movies are alike, but rather that, even though the outcome is determined and will come as no surprise, the shock itself is that you find yourself trying to will it otherwise. On top of that, this movie carries a very natural feel which only seems to add to the realistic feel. Though obviously scripted with a lot of vocabulary that would be pertinent to certain skills such as air traffic controllers, the lines are delivered in a way that seems unpracticed, and while normally this could seem as a negative, in this movie it only seems that much more credible. It is surrealistic to watch what the FAA must have been going through during those moments while airplanes are dropping out of their radar and this film captures the confusion with disturbing ease while at the same time bringing to the forefront certain details that one may not have thought about. Eventually, the unavoidable tension builds with a tenacity that will have you glued to your seat.

Needless to say, there are some very heart wrenching moments, and all of it told while not overly pointing accusing fingers at the terrorist who are painted with their own dilemas. If not entirely unbiased, it does at least present a pretty good American point of view of what happened and at least manages to keep itself from smearing the terrorists in political crap. This, to me, was important, because I find myself tuning out anything that remotely resembles propaganda. In this case, they at least try to be fair, even if no fairness is excused for the acts that took place.

All in all, I think most people will find this a moving picture of moments that were hard enough to imagine without the details. And though I can not entirely speak for its accuracy in detail, I know that at the very least it feels real enough to make it disturbing.

Rating: 4 out of 5
Notes: This movie may be a bit too much for those who are still having problems dealing with the subject. Obviously there is violence and some disturbing imagery and some language.
Quote: Sandra Bradshaw: [Crying to husband Phil over the plane's airphone] Baby I swear, I promise, if I get out of this I’m quitting tomorrow! I quit tomorrow! I promise I’ll quit tomorrow!

• Director: Ricardo de Montreuil
• Genre: Drama
• Year: 2005

Just as I had gotten done ripping on Lion’s Gate for their inconsistency in product, I am forced to kind of eat my words. As it turns out this movie, which I had anticipated for a while (now available in DVD) is a Lion’s Gate film (distributed by). As it is to be expected, this movie never showed in the Phoenix Metropolitan area, and if it did, it probably played for one weekend in some obscure theater. It is a shame that I had to wait for this to be on DVD, though…than the cinematic gods for HDTV, because this is a very pretty piture. Yes I said pretty. Perhaps not in the sense that “Spring, Summer, Fall, Winter…Spring” is pretty, but still very stylish, very well shot, and modernistically simple.

But let’s not get caught up on the pictures themselves. This story, which I originally believed to be Mexican (in truth it is a South American cocktail, with a Peruvian director, shot in Chile, done through the Mexican market and with stars from all over Central and South America orginally but mostly working in Mexico) is a gem of Latin-American film. Though perhaps not as controversial as “Amores Perros”, “Sexo, Pudor y Lagrimas” or “Y Tu Mama Tambien” this film is following right along the same path, dealing with the taboo topic of a young man falling in love (or rather in lust) for his brother’s wife. Set in the elitist world of the rich, Barbara Mori plays Zoe, the unsatisfied wife of Ignacio (Christian Meier) who seems to have lost his fervor for his wife. In the picture is Gonzalo (Manolo Cardona) who is Ignacio’s younger, more carefree, artist of a brother who fails to see eye to eye with him for various reasons.

With a very limited cast and a short number of settings, this movie relies on the acting, the relationships and the plot to carry itself, which is a very good thing. There are really no twist endings, no surprises, and one can not say that it is not entirely unpredictible, but even if you see it coming, the story itself has enough fortitude to stand on its own and make of itself a very solid picture. With no good guys and no bad guys necessarily this film is as intruiging as it can be frustrating. Barbara Mori, for example plays a very shaky Zoe, who is not necessarily unfocused as a character but rather, multifaceted enough to react realistically to the situation at hand, where she finds herself needing to choose between two brothers. Personally, I found this to be a realistic and unrefined portrait of what most people are. All too often the writers focus so much on creating a character that they corner them into a stereotype. Here, each of them seems to teeter on the lines without ever being too much of one thing or the other, which makes for a better story.

Definitely worth the watch, and for those of you that speak Spanish, this is really easy to follow Mexican Spanish. I say easy to follow because some movies, such as “Amores Perros” are so heavily loaded with slang that I oftentimes have to turn on the subtitles to catch it all.

Good movie…go watch it!

Rating: 4 out of 5 (though if I take my bias into consideration I would probably give it more of a 4.5).
Notes: Adult situations, brief nudity, language. Spanish with English subtitles.
Quote: Zoe: I spent the whole day cooking.
Gonzalo: I spent the whole day thinking about you. Give me a kiss.
Zoe: Don’t. We’re in Ignacio’s house.
Gonzalo: Why the fuck do I care if…
Zoe: [interrupts] Look, if I asked you to come for dinner it’s because I like spending time with you. But promise you’re going to behave yourself.

• Director: Andrew Niccol
• Genre: Crime/Drama
• Year: 2005

Lions Gate Films, to me, is a tricky company. They do not seem to have the consistency of say…Focus Features. They will heavily focus on slasher and horror films some of which are good, most of which are not, and then they will come up with very interesting stuff. It is the difference between “God Send” and “The Descent” or the difference between “The Punisher” and “Hotel Rwanda”. The product is all over the place, regardless of the genre. As a result I have been a bit hesitant when it comes to LGF films. I see trailers for movies like “Crank” and I shake my head. I saw the trailer for “Lord of War” and I shook my head. It took ‘Slowmo’ to convince me of watching this, after he asked three times if I had seen it yet. Finally I realized I was not going to be able to not watch it.

So I did and I have to say, going in with no expectations, this movie was better than I would have given it initial credit for. There are some very interesting ideas at play here. The mere concept of a gun-runner is very intruiging. The moral issues alone are enough to have a night long debate over. Because you know that somebody will sell guns to armies and militias and government and you know that person is going to have to have no conscience about what they are doing. In this movie, Nicholas Cage plays a gun-runner who is not at all apologetic about what he does. Not when he realizes what his guns are doing, not when he acquires a family.

However…this -is- Nicholas Cage, and while he may be one to enlist in blockbusters, his acting ability is limited and I never felt he took real advantage of the role that he was trying to carry. There were times when I felt he dropped the ball and the movie itself feels somewhat rushed at times in the way it plays out. Another issue, is the fact that the movie is never serious enough to be serious or funny enough to be a comedy. They tried hard to balance the two, but in my mind it never quite merged entirely. Perhaps under the care of another actor for the lead role the results would have been different.

However, the theme alone is enough to make this movie interesting and while it has some lost potential I would still recommend it, even if it never manages to be a “Constant Gardener” or a “Syriana” which at times this movie felt like it wanted to be. Still, definitely worth the watch.

Rating: 3.5 out of 5
Notes: Language, Adult content, Nudity
Quote: Yuri Orlov: There are two types of tragedies in life. One is not getting what you want, the other is getting it.

• Director: Fruit Chan (segment “Dumplings”), Chan-wook Park (segment “Cut”), Takashi Miike (segment “Box”)
• Genre: Horror
• Year: 2004

I had my eyes set on this movie since I first saw the preview for it loooong ago. In fact, I actually saw this movie a while ago also, but I somehow managed to forget to write a review for it, but it is certainly one worth bringing up, because for those of you that are fans of Horror, this one may be one worth watching. The movie itself is actually three short movies grouped together: Dumplings (directed by Chinese director Fruit Chan), Cut (directed by Korean director Chan-wook Park) and Box (directed by Japanese director Takashi Miike).

The shorts are entirely unrelated to each other, and yet provide a macabre net of stories that will certainly have those appreciative of the sinister drooling. However, let it be said that none of these are in the slasher-horror genre (yes, including Miike who is known for ultraviolent films such as Ichi the Killer). Instead, these three shorts are artful, intelligent, cinematic gems with aestetic beauty regardless of the disturbing topics they portray.

“Dumplings” is the story or a woman seeking the secret to youth, going to extremes to try to keep herself looking beautiful. It is during this quest that she meets a woman who promises a diet that will keep her healthy and her skin beautiful…I do not want to give anything away but this short certainly twisted a few knots in my stomach, both in the content and the eery acting which went into it, which only solidified the effect.

“Cut” is a thriller that sets a movie director in a situation where he must choose from a series of bad options when he suddenly finds himself captured by an ‘extra’. Once again, this short has some very disturbing scenes, some graphic violence and some imagery that is downright haunting. On top of that, the plot itself is neatly twisted so that the end becomes nearly unpredictable.

“Box” is the depressing story of a young woman, remembering her past and a certain number of actions which she looks back on with regret. Though perhaps the most mellow of the stories, I think that this one is also the most accomplished, cinematographically and otherwise, with beautiful shots and well composed scenes. I do not want to give much about this one, because I think it is at its best if you watch and try to make sense of it on your own. This one, may also require a couple of viewings, given that it has a slight twist that can leave one scratching their head.

All in all, if you like non-slasher horror films, this is one you are going to have to get your paws on.

Rating: 4 out of 5
Notes: Very disturbing stuff, visually and conceptually. Not at all for young kids or young teenagers either.

• Director: Woody Allen
• Genre: Crime/Drama/Romance
• Year: 2005

This, to me, was a completely unexpected genre coming from Woody Allen, who is much better known for his comedies. This particular moment, does not really have much comedy to it and instead comes across as a…romantic thriller?

It is a bit odd pairing those two genres together, but that is exactly what this movie is, a romantic movie with an edge and strange as it may seem, it plays off pretty well. Led by the solid effort of Scarlett Johansonn and Johnathan Rhys Meyers playing the leads and supported by Emily Mortimer, Brian Cox and other actors that step up to take the full weight of their roles. Based in Britain, this movie is about Chris Wilton (Meyer), a middle class tennis player that manages to snake his way into the elite world of Old Money and in the process finds himself in a love triangle that eventually threatens the very life he has gotten accustomed to.

Though not exactly an edge of the seat, guess what will happen next sort of movie, Match Point does provide a very satisfying story arch that is nonetheless gripping and intruiging, with a number of moral questions that will leave you thinking about this movie long after you have watched the credits scroll.

Rating: 4 out of 5
Notes: Some disturbing behavior and actions. Sexual content and good old fashion British accents
Quote: Christopher “Chris” Wilton: The innocent are sometimes slain to make way for grander schemes. You were collateral damage.

• Director: Prachya Pinkaew
• Genre: Crime/Drama/Thriller/Action/Adventure
• Year: 2005

Here is the thing, your enjoyment of this movie will largely depend on the expectations you carry into the movie. Unfortunately, most people are talking up this movie based entirely on the actions scenes. I came into it expecting a pretty damned good movie, because everybody is just waving their hands over their heads, soiling their shorts about how sweet it is…but they really do not mean the movie (at least I hope not) they mean the action sequences and the fights.

I will give them that much the fights are pretty damned impressive and the fact that Tony Jaa does all his stunts is similarly amazing. I will take nothing away from that field, because if that is all you care about from this movie, then you will certainly not be disappointed. However, if you, like I did, expect a plot and character development, or even somewhat decent acting, you are going to be in for a bruising surprise, because none of that exists here. To the point where about an hour into it I felt like just turning it off and playing Ghost Recon instead. Only reason I finished it was because I would have to review it for Turtle Pellets this week.

So there it is, a sub par movie with a sorry attempt for a plot with kick ass fighting. Up to you to decide if its worth an hour and however many minutes of your life.

Rating: 2 out of 5
Notes: There is one pretty hot scene with a chick in her underwear in a mud bath. No nudity but young impressionable boys will be certainly stricken.
Quote: Screw the quote, I am not going to bother with this one, dialogue is pretty bad.

• Director: Thomas McCarthy
• Genre: Comedy/Drama
• Year: 2003

I love this movie! I absolutely love this movie…subtle in its delivery, but with consistency and always with an eye for quality in just about every aspect of this film from the acting to the cinematography to the storyline to the humor, character development…I am hardpressed to find a flaw in this film.

They story, upon first instpection did not seem that gripping, which is probably why it took me this long to watch the movie. I tell you now, do not let that mistake happen to you as well.. Finbar, a dwarf, suddenly finds himself alone, his best friend dead, the toy train shop they cared for repossesed and living in a place where he gets little respect and a lot of unwanted attention. With an understandable desire to get away from it all, Finbar decides to live a reclusive life in a Train Depot that was left to him in his friend’s will. However, once the gets there, he realizes getting away from his colorful neighbors is going to be a very difficult task, in the process forging friendships will have Finbar rethinking his life.

Acted superbly on all accounts, laced with a great balance of drama and humor, this movie is sure to be a favorite.

Watch it! Watch it right now!!!

Rating: 5 out of 5
Notes: Language is scattered through this movie, adult situations…very brief nudity, but do not let any of that scare you away. Its all worth it.
Quote: Finbar McBride: You said you weren’t going to talk to me if I sat here, Joe.
Joe Oramas: I haven’t said anything in like twenty minutes.
[Fin checks his pocket watch]
Finbar McBride: Nine.
Joe Oramas: You timed me?
Finbar McBride: Mm-hmm.
Joe Oramas: That’s cold, bro.

• Director: Neil Marshall
• Genre: Adventure/Thriller/Horror
• Year: 2005

The problem with this kind of films, is that they all suck. Look at The Cave…the trailer itself was unwatchable and it is an eerily similar premise to the one here, where a group of explorers go down into a cave to find that they are not alone. It even sounds cliche to say it. Then you have the fact that the entire cast (the true humans, anyway) are all female and you know exactly what they are catering to. I must say that initially I even found it disappointing when the teenage girls I thougtht I saw in the trailer were actually all around their thirties. Packaged under the slasher genre…I expected cheap thrills and a loud soundtrack to make up for its visual miscues.

I was pleasantly proven wrong.

Neil Marshall seems to have done good research in finding out what works on slasher movies and what works on psychological thrillers and weaved a pretty decent formula for himself. The fact that the cast is not the group of bimbo’s I was expecting helped a lot. The fact that there is a background story to lay under the entire movie also lends a helping hand. And the fact that Neil is not afraid to throw the expected on its head spices it all up nicely.

The movie plot is not terribly deep…not in the metaphorical sense, anyway, though it does deal with a group of adventurous friends descending into what turns out to be an unexplored cave. Shot darkly and with creepy tight shots, this movie does a fantastic job at making the viewer him/herself feel claustrophobic. More than once I squirmed in my seat when the discomfort of the shot translated flawlessly.

Though not entirely original, this movie does borrow from other films, such as the Blair Witch Project, 28 Days Later and other such films, but Neil adapts these bits and makes them entirely his own in a film which I am glad to say is my favorite horror since the already mentioned Danny Boyle flick and probably one of the best slasher films of all time.

Be prepared for some brutal imagery here, because Mr. Marshal is not afraid of making his audience squirmish, and he delivers some moments in celluloid that I guarantee will turn your heads at least once. If you can stomach blood and violence, this film is going to put a grin on your face from ear to ear.

Rating: 4 out of 5
Notes: Not for your children, obviously. Gore, violence and language is splattered all over the place. But there is some surprisingly good acting, sexy British accents and tons of violent fun…and Juno rocks!
Quote: Sam: Trying to set this watch is impossible, the buttons are to fucking small.
Holly: Why do you wear that thing anyway ?
Sam: My boyfriend gave it to me, it’s sentimental.
Holly: It’s fucking mental, any guy who’d give that to me i’d dump him on the spot.

• Director: Ziad Doueiri
• Genre: Drama
• Year: 2004

Once again Netflix strikes with their deceitful synopsises (synopsoose? Synopsii? Whatever). I am beginning to think that whoever writes those for them, just kind of fast forwards through the movies and writes down the general idea of it, which is often right, and invents the details, which are often wrong. Not to diss Netflix too much (I do love the service) but one can only rely so much on their excerpts. In their description, Neflix called this a love triangle between a young arab poet, a beautiful French girl and the leader of a rival gang in an arab neighborhood. Some of that is right, they are in an Arab neighborhood (post 9-11, which plays a minor role) and the girl is very beautiful…but he is not a poet, he is a writer and the supposed “rival gang leader” is not a rival or even a gang leader…its his best friend. This matters because a love triangle with your best friend is a whole lot more dramatic than having one with your enemy. But…it really does not matter because this is not even a love triangle. Chimo likes Lila, Lila likes Chimo and Mouloud, Chimo’s number one man, feels that a promise they made a long time ago to share everything applies to women as well and is trying to get his cut.

Add into the mix that Chimo’s friends are all losers with no real future, compared to him who actually has the opportunity to do something with his writing, and the fact that Lila’s troubled past have turned her into a young woman dangerously playing with sexuality, entirely aware of her beauty and her body and the power of words. Much like Closer, this is about as sexual a film without ever seeing any nudity, but sexuality is in fact the axis upon which this entire story revolves. It is a sometimes disturbing, sometimes amusing look at the world of teenagers and the pressures of sexuality and friendship.

Relying heavily on young actors, this film leaves a bit to be desired in talent, but in my opinion this is a minimal flaw. Most of the time the lead characters are convincing, even if the others drop the ball here and there. All in all, this film is a controversial piece of foreign film that may be difficult to watch for those that are easily offended by sexuality…though I feel the need to emphasize the fact that there is never any nudity in the film.

A thought provoking film, an interesting story and certainly worth the watch.

Rating: 4 out of 5
Notes: Heavy sexual content, some violence including a suggested rape and language. French with English subtitles.